Hi, I’m Positive Phil. Let’s talk about waves. Not the ones in the ocean, although I love those too, but the ones in everyday life that knock us off balance.
You know the kind. A surprise bill. A hard conversation. A change at work. A worry about your kids. Life sends waves, and some are big. Here is how I try to ride them.
You Cannot Stop the Waves
The first lesson any surfer learns is that you cannot control the ocean. You cannot make it flat. You cannot stop the next set from rolling in.
Life works the same way. You will not get a season with no problems. Trying to avoid every hard thing will only wear you out. The better question is, how will I handle it when it comes?
That shift matters. When you stop fighting what you cannot control, you free up energy for what you can control, which is your response.
Stay Loose, Not Stiff
Watch a good surfer. They bend their knees. They keep their body relaxed. They move with the wave instead of locking up. A stiff surfer falls fast.
When trouble hits, many of us tense up. Our shoulders rise, our jaw tightens, and our thoughts spin. Try the opposite. Take a slow breath. Drop your shoulders. Unclench your hands.
A calm body helps a calm mind. It is a small trick, and it works whether you are on the water or in a tough meeting.
Keep Your Eyes Where You Want to Go
Surfers look where they want to go, not at the rock they want to avoid. Your body follows your eyes. If you stare at the problem, you steer right into it.
In life, that means focusing on the solution, the goal, or the good thing ahead. Ask yourself, “What do I want to happen here?” Then take a step in that direction.
It is not about ignoring the problem. It is about not letting the problem be the only thing you see.
Falling Is Part of Learning
Nobody learns to surf without falling. You wipe out. You swallow some water. You come up coughing and a little embarrassed. Then you grab the board and paddle back out.
That is the whole secret. The people who get good are not the ones who never fall. They are the ones who keep paddling back.
When you fail, give yourself some grace. Laugh if you can. Ask what you learned. Then try again. Every great ride was built on a lot of wipeouts.
Find Your People
Surfers look out for each other. They share tips, cheer for good rides, and help when someone is in trouble. Nobody does it alone.
Find people who do that for you. Friends who tell you the truth with kindness. Family who shows up. A church or a group where you belong. If you do not have those people yet, start by being that person for someone else.
I am thankful for my family and the friends who have stood with me. They have kept me steady more times than I can count.
Remember the Joy
People surf because it is fun. They love the sun, the water, and the thrill of the ride. In the middle of a hard season, it is easy to forget joy.
Make room for it on purpose. Laugh with someone you love. Put on your favorite song. Take a walk by the water if you live near one. Joy is not a reward for when things get easy. It is fuel to get through when things are hard.
A Few Ways to Keep Your Balance This Week
- Start the day with a quiet minute. Pray, breathe, or just sit.
- Move your body, even for ten minutes.
- Eat something good and drink water.
- Say no to one thing that drains you.
- Say yes to one thing that fills you up.
- Tell someone how you are really doing.
- End the day with three things you are thankful for.
These habits are not exciting, but they build a steady base. When a big wave comes, a strong base keeps you on your feet.
Trust That There Is Calm Water Ahead
Waves come in sets, and after a set, there is often a lull. Storms pass. Hard seasons end. I have lived long enough to see that again and again.
When you are in the thick of it, that can be hard to believe. But hold on to it anyway. Good things are ahead. I believe that with all my heart, and I believe it for you too.
You Can Do This
I want you to know you are more capable than you feel right now. You have gotten through every hard day so far. That is a perfect record.
So take a breath. Bend your knees. Look where you want to go. And when you fall, paddle back out. I will be right here, cheering for you on the shore.
Come back tomorrow for another short note, and listen to the Positive Phil podcast anytime you want some good company.
Shaka. Let’s go. We are building this together.
Phil
