Listen to how you talk to yourself after a mistake. Would you say that to a friend? Probably not.
A friend would say, that was hard, you did your best, try again tomorrow. You can say that to yourself too.
This is not letting yourself off the hook. It is making it safe to try again, which is how people grow.
Start today. The next time that harsh voice shows up, answer it kindly.
The friend test
Next time you make a mistake, pause and ask what you would say if your best friend did the same thing. You would probably say that anyone could have slipped, that it is not the end of the world, and that you believe in them. Now say that to yourself.
Why this is not soft
Some people worry that being kind to themselves means letting themselves off the hook. It works the other way. People who treat themselves with understanding after a failure tend to try again sooner. Harsh self-talk makes us want to hide. Kind self-talk helps us get back up.
A few lines to keep handy
That was hard. I did my best with what I knew. I can try again tomorrow. I am still learning. Write one on a sticky note and put it where you will see it. Say it out loud if you can. It may feel strange at first. That is normal. Habits of the mind take time.
You deserve the same patience you give the people you love. Start there.
Make someone's day
Pass this on. One kind message can change a whole day. Then play a game that does some good.
