Breathe Out Longer Than You Breathe In, Starting Today

The breath I forgot I had

A while back I noticed something about myself. When I was stressed, I was holding my breath. Sitting in traffic. Reading a tough email. Waiting on a phone call. My shoulders were up, my jaw was tight, and I was barely breathing at all.

I am not a doctor and I am not an expert on any of this. I am just a guy who found a small habit that helps me. So I want to share it in plain words. If you have a health condition, talk to your doctor before trying anything new. But for most of us, this one is about as simple as it gets.

Here it is. Breathe out longer than you breathe in.

Why the long exhale helps

When we get stressed, we tend to take short, quick breaths up high in the chest. That keeps the body on alert. It is like leaving the engine revving at a red light.

A slow, long breath out tends to do the opposite. It tells the body it can ease off the gas a little. For me, it is like letting the car roll to a gentle stop instead of slamming the brakes. My heart feels steadier. My thoughts slow down enough that I can actually think them.

You do not have to understand all the science to feel it. Try it once right now and you will probably notice something shift.

Do this today

Here is the simple version I use. Sit or stand comfortably. Let your shoulders drop. Breathe in through your nose for a count of four. Then breathe out slowly through your mouth for a count of six or eight, like you are blowing on hot soup. Do that five times. That is it. Less than a minute.

Do it once in the morning before you look at your phone. That one is a gift to yourself. You start the day with your own breath instead of somebody else’s news.

Do it once in the car before you walk into work or into the house. That is a little doorway between one part of the day and the next. It helps you leave the last thing behind before you step into the next thing.

Do it once when something goes wrong. A spilled drink. A rude driver. A bad text. Before you say anything, take those five slow breaths. You may still say something, but it will probably come out kinder.

And do it once at night in bed. Lights off, hands on your belly, feel it rise and fall. This is where I notice it the most. The long breath out is like setting the day down.

Pair it with something good

One thing that has helped me make this stick is pairing the breath with a thought. On the breath in, I think of something I am thankful for. On the long breath out, I let go of one worry. In, thankful. Out, let it go.

Some nights it is small stuff. Thankful for a hot shower. Letting go of a dumb thing I said. Other nights it is bigger. Thankful for my son. Letting go of a fear about the future I cannot control right now anyway.

I do not do it perfectly. Some days I forget all of it until I am already wound tight. That is fine. The breath is always right there waiting. You never run out of chances to start over with it.

What I love about this is that nobody needs to know you are doing it. You can do it in a meeting. In line at the store. Sitting at a red light. No gear, no cost, no special place. It is one of the few tools you carry with you every single minute of your life.

We spend so much energy trying to fix the outside of our days. Sometimes the best place to start is the inside. One slow breath, then another. Let your body catch up with your heart.

When the day gets loud, breathe out slow. Let the long exhale do the calming.