The other side of the story
If you only listened to grown ups complaining, you would think every teenager spends all day on a phone and never thinks about anyone but themselves. I have heard it at barbecues. I have heard it in line at the store. I have probably said it myself on a bad day.
But I have a son, and I know a lot of his friends, and I can tell you that is not the whole story. Not even close. Young people do good things all the time. They just do not usually post about it. They do it, shrug, and move on. So I want to name some of it here. These are not stories about any one kid. They are the kind of thing that happens in every town, every week, whether anyone notices or not.
Things like this happen every day
A high school kid notices a classmate eating lunch alone for the third day in a row. He does not make a big deal of it. He just picks up his tray and sits down and says, mind if I eat here. By the end of the month that table has five people at it.
A teenage girl who works at a fast food place sees an older woman struggling to read the menu board. She walks out from behind the counter, reads it to her, and helps her order something she will actually like.
A group of teens on a sports team spend a Saturday morning cleaning up trash along a creek near the school. Nobody made them. One of them just said it looked bad and asked who wanted to help.
A teenage boy mows his elderly neighbor’s lawn every week all summer. She tries to pay him. He tells her she can pay him in cookies. She does, every single week.
A teen on a bus gives up her seat for a man with a cane, then stands for forty minutes without once complaining.
Why they do not post it
Here is what I find interesting. A lot of teens are actually uncomfortable getting credit for this stuff. Ask them about it and they get a little embarrassed. It was nothing. Anyone would have done it.
I think there is something beautiful in that. They are not doing good for an audience. They are doing it because it seemed like the right thing in the moment. That is the kind of goodness that lasts.
It also means that if we want to see it, we have to look for it. It will not show up in your feed. It shows up in the small moments, at the store, on the bus, at the next table over.
Play a Positive Phil game
Good Deed Dash
Run the maze and collect good deeds.
What grown ups can do
First, notice it. When you see a young person do something kind, say something. Not a big speech. Just, hey, that was really good of you. You might be the only adult who tells them that all week, and it might be the thing that makes them want to do it again.
Second, tell the parents. If your neighbor’s kid helped carry your groceries, let the parents know. Parents hear plenty when their kid messes up. They deserve to hear when their kid shines.
Third, stop the generalizing. The next time someone says kids these days, gently share one of these stories. Not to argue. Just to add the other side.
And fourth, give them chances. Ask a teen to help with something real. Most of them rise to it. They want to matter. They want to be trusted. Give them a reason to show you who they are.
I am hopeful about the next generation. Not because they are perfect. Nobody is. But because every time I really look, I see kindness, courage, and a lot of heart. Usually in the places nobody is watching.
Look for the good in young people and you will find more than you expect.
