The season I was waiting for a feeling
A few years back I went through a hard season. I will not go into every detail. It was the kind of stretch where things kept breaking, one after another, and I could not seem to get my footing. I prayed a lot during that time. And honestly, a lot of what I prayed for was a feeling.
I wanted to feel hopeful. I wanted to wake up one morning and feel light again, like the clouds had moved and everything made sense. I kept waiting for that feeling to show up so I could start moving again.
It did not come. Not the way I pictured it anyway.
What came instead
What came instead was a friend with a truck. I had mentioned in passing that I needed to move some heavy things out of a storage unit. He showed up on a Saturday, early, in old jeans and work boots, with coffee for both of us. He did not give me a speech. He did not ask me how I was feeling about everything. He just said, where do you want to start.
We worked for four hours. We talked about nothing important. Football, his kids, a funny thing that happened at his job. At the end of the day the unit was empty and I felt lighter than I had in months. Not because my problems were gone. Because somebody had stood next to me and carried part of the load.
That was the day I started to understand hope differently. Hope was not a feeling I had to wait for. Hope was something that showed up, wearing work boots, ready to help.
Hope in ordinary clothes
After that I started seeing it everywhere. A neighbor who dropped off dinner without being asked. A text from an old friend that just said, been thinking about you. My parents calling from Wisconsin to check in, even though I had not told them much. A guy at church who prayed with me in the parking lot for two minutes and then said, see you next week.
None of it looked spiritual in the way I expected. Nobody had a big message. But I believe God works through people all the time, and most of those people do not even know they are being used. They are just doing the next kind thing.
I think we sometimes miss hope because we are looking for it in the sky when it is standing right in front of us holding a box.
Play a Positive Phil game
Hope Hangman
Guess the word. Keep the sun up.
Be the boots for someone else
Here is what that season taught me to do now. When I hear that someone is struggling, I try not to just say, let me know if you need anything. Most people never let you know. They are too tired or too proud. I was.
So I try to show up with something specific. I will bring dinner Thursday. I can drive your kid to practice this week. I am free Saturday morning, what needs doing around the house. Specific help is easier to say yes to. And it says, I am not just sending good thoughts, I am coming.
You do not need to have the right words. My friend with the truck did not say one deep thing all day. He just showed up. That was the whole message.
If you are in a hard season right now and you are waiting to feel hopeful before you take a step, I understand. I have been there. But maybe try this. Let someone help you, even with something small. Or go help someone else, even when you are tired. Sometimes hope starts with your hands before it ever reaches your heart.
The feeling did come back for me, by the way. Slowly. Long after the work had started. I think it was following the boots the whole time.
Hope is not always a feeling. Sometimes it is a friend who shows up.
