Here is a challenge that takes about two minutes a day and costs nothing. For seven days, you say one real thank you to one real person. Not a text that says thx. A thank you with a reason in it, said to a face or at least to a voice. I did this for the first time a couple of years ago and I still think about some of the conversations it started.
A real thank you has two parts. What they did, and what it meant to you. That second part is the one we skip, and it is the one that lands.
The seven days
Day one is someone in your house. Your spouse, your kid, your roommate, whoever shares your walls. Thank them for something specific they did this week that you would normally let pass. The dishes. The ride. The way they asked how your day was. Say what it meant. Most of the people closest to us hear thank you the least.
Day two is someone at work. Not your boss, unless your boss really did something. A coworker who covered for you, who answered a question, who is just easy to be around. Walk over or call. Do not email it. Email thank yous are fine but they are not the challenge.
Day three is someone who serves you. The cashier, the barista, the guy at the gas station, the person who delivers your mail. Look them in the eye and thank them for something real. Thank you for always being kind in the morning. Thank you for remembering my order. You will be amazed at what their face does.
Day four is someone from your past. A teacher, a coach, an old boss, a friend from years ago. Find their number or email or address. Tell them one thing they did that you still carry. This one takes the most nerve and pays the most. I did this with a coach from high school and he wrote back that it was the best thing that happened to him that month.
Day five is someone you have been short with. A thank you works as a bridge when a sorry feels too big. Find one true thing to thank them for, and say it. It does not fix everything. It opens a door.
Day six is someone who helped you and never got credit. The neighbor who watched your dog. The friend who listened on a bad night. The relative who sent money once when you were young and never mentioned it again. Go back and give them the credit.
Day seven is a thank you said upward. Pray it, write it, say it to the ceiling, whatever fits your life. One real thank you for one specific thing from the week. For me that is a prayer, and it is usually short. Thank you for my son. Thank you for the walk this morning. Thank you for the fact that I got to do this at all.
Why seven days and not forever
Because forever is how good ideas die. Seven days is small enough to actually finish and long enough to feel it change you. By day four, you will start noticing things to be thankful for before you go looking. By day seven, the people around you will have noticed something different about you, even if they cannot say what.
After seven days, keep going if you want to. Most people do, without trying. The habit sticks because it feels good in a way that is hard to explain until you do it.
Play a Positive Phil game
Make Someone’s Day
Pick a moment. Send a real message in a minute.
If you get stuck on the words, the Make Someone’s Day message maker on the home page helps you write a short, honest note. Use it for day four or day six, the ones where the right words feel hard to find. Then send it. Do not let it sit in drafts.
A few rules
Be specific. Thank you for everything is nice, but thank you for driving an hour to help me move the couch is a thank you someone remembers. Say what it meant, even if it feels awkward. Say it out loud when you can. And do not expect anything back. Some people get flustered. Some get quiet. Some brush it off. That is fine. The thank you did its work the moment it left your mouth.
Start tomorrow. Day one is in your house, and they are probably in the next room right now.
Say the thank you out loud. The one in your head does not count.
