Goodbye Moody Tuesday

For such a dark and moody lot, we’re sure not wise to how often we go dark, not to mention how little a clue we have as to where our (inner) light switch is.

What’s up with that?

You might have heard the stats: According to science, the average human has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thoughts, guess how many are inspiring, dreamy, and original?

Uh, not many…

Turns out, a whopping 80% of our thoughts are NOT ONLY negative, but 95% of them are also the exact same thoughts as the day before. Let me repeat that…oh, right…no need. No wonder so many of us have such a hard time imagining our highest ideals/dreams for ourselves, let alone manifesting them! We are much too preoccupied with manif*cking them!

Mani-what-ing them?

If you don’t already know what manifesting is, or don’t know what I mean by manif*cking (primarily, because I made it up during a FB Live not that long ago), here’s the difference between the two:

Manifest [man-uh-fest] verb  

The act of causing something or bringing a specific result to fruition by thinking, feeling, and acting in accordance with a vision for what we want, no matter what our desire is – from a parking spot, to a lover, to a new job, to a vacation, etc.

vs.

Manif*ck [man-uh-f*ck]  verb

The act of thinking about the future and envisioning being screwed. To project, so much so, that you get yourself into a mood and unconsciously prove your projections, thoughts, theories, beliefs, and mood to be true. So much so, you think you’re having a premonition vs. a manif*ckation.

SO, according to us, if you’re a human, whether you’re a New Age-y one or not, whether you rolled your eyes at the secret to The Secret’s secret or not, there’s no getting out of your imagination or your inner dialogue.

The connection between our thoughts and our mood is a straight line

A straight line to where, you wonder?

Answer: to the dark side of town.

I mean, come on, ever notice how often, when we’re in a meh mood, we binge eat salad? Or, how frequently we feed our anxiety or depression steamed kale?

Um, never.

What if, unconsciously, our mind (a.k.a. our inner-dialogue, thoughts,  theories, and beliefs) knows that the more it manif*cks with us and our dreams, the more likely it is going to get rewarded. Rewarded? Yep. Think about it: if you’re thinking shitty thoughts and in a mood, isn’t your head already plotting its hall pass –whether it’s an extra drink, a smoke, a second helping, a dessert, passing on a party or a workout, or all of the above, etc.?

Yes, our mind has a mind of its own. But what if our mood was simply an indicator of what’s going on in our minds and a byproduct of our thoughts, period? It is.

Uh oh is right, and our plight.

Manifesting is an inside job

Twenty plus years of coaching humans later, there’s nothing I know to be more useful than trailing our own inner dialogue. If we’re not tracking our own thoughts, how would we know what we’re projecting and unconsciously manif*cking and potentially proving or causing?

We couldn’t. We wouldn’t. And, subsequently, we don’t.

Mastery over your mind comes from the learned ability to choose what is best for you to think AND feel. To get your own hands back on your life’s remote control and press mute when your mind messes with what matters most to you. @LaurenZander (Click to Tweet!)

Namely, your dreams.

In areas where you’re happy, I promise you, your inner dialogue, thoughts, theories, beliefs, and mood are great and you act accordingly. If you’re excited to see your partner, you bring flowers. If you feel great in your body, you feed it well, you head to the gym, you sign up for a marathon, etc. But in areas where you’re not proud, happy, or inspired, you’re being a bit of a manifarquaad.

[What?!! It’s a Shrek reference, sorta!]

You’re thinking: so and so is never going to call you back, or you’ll never find your partner on any of these godforsaken dating sites, or your teen will never turn out, or your mother will never {fill in the blank}…and guess what happens? Your actions dance with your thoughts, put you in a mood, and your worst thoughts get proven accurate.

This is why I have my clients keep a thought log. I have them write down their thoughts three times a day, not to see IF they have a dark side, because OF COURSE they do; I have them write their thoughts down in order to see just how much their inner dialogue is running amok and the results it’s actually causing. Because until we confront what our minds are actually doing for a living, we are in the Matrix [look it up youngins!] and we haven’t taken the pill.

Hacking into our inner dialogue is the pill.

Once you incriminate your head and fully see the C it’s trying to get you in any area of your life where you’re fearful, you can deal with it head on. You can put in the right promises to quiet it and even redirect it, so that ALL of you — your mind, body, and heart — are fighting for the same end goal: your ACTUAL dreams unf*cked, manifested, AND realized.

So, given that you = human, and according to science, 80% of your thoughts are negative and repetitive. Repeat after me: Check your mood. It’s a litmus test for your thoughts. Stop, drop, and roll when you catch yourself manif*cked up.

Love,

Lauren

P.S. What’s your life like? Sucky? Sexy? Somewhere in between? Take the Current Reality Quiz! It’s a quick, easy, and fun (we swear) way to self-assess and get a better idea (or at least an honest one) on what areas of your life you need to work on.


Lauren Handel Zander is the Co-Founder and Chairwoman of Handel Group®, an international corporate consulting and life coaching company. Her coaching methodology, The Handel Method®, is taught in over 35 universities and institutes of learning around the world, including MIT, Stanford Graduate School of Business, NYU, and the New York City Public School System. Lauren is also the author of Maybe It’s You: Cut the Crap, Face Your Fears, Love Your Life (Published by Hachette Book Group, April 2017), a no-nonsense, practical manual that helps readers figure out not just what they want out of life, but how to actually get there. She has spent over 20 years coaching thousands of private and corporate clients, including executives at Vogue, BASF, and AOL. Lauren has been a featured expert in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, Women’s Health, Dr. Oz, and Marie Claire and she is a regular contributor to Businessweek and the Huffington Post. Click here to schedule a 30-minute consultation with Handel Group.


Image courtesy of kaboompics.com.

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